02 November 2010

hypem. love. do it.

Jaques! i love you! it's funny how drawing and writing poetry with someone in 9th grade Marine Science class can sometimes lead to making ridiculously fresh jamz later in life. 15 years later, to be exact. this kid was always awesome, now he's gone and made himself even more dope by becoming a super sick producer/engineer, and hooking one of my songs the fuck UP. goddammit. life always comes full-circle, now doesn't it?

so here it is, kids. Hello Goodbye (JAQUES remix):

enjoy your life. even the sucky parts (they make for excellent songs).

18 October 2010

lyrics: hello goodbye

how quickly you comfort
i'm eating everything up
even the tough words
ones that choke me
i can't get enough

he's never seen me
with all my weaponry out
because i wear nothing, sad
all the openness soon becomes doubt again

so hold me close
tell me all your reasons why
i'm up above and so below
you're one and both
on with the show
fill me up with lovely air
when i look, you won't be there
far gone
and so that's how it goes
i'll never know
on with the show

how can this be wrong when it's a song
barely breathing
watch you lose the worst of yourself and it's heaven
i've been here too long
when it's wrong, i'll be leaving
pretend love got the best of us both

20 July 2010

i'm no good at being in between. i'm here or i am gone. people who know me well understand this about me, and while they encourage me to experiment with moderation, they know that being half-way anything tears my heart to bits. don't call me crazy unless you mean it, unless you really want to see it. my smile is heavy now, my hands are hiding.

29 June 2010


I am The Tower
Held up by bricks, until the cracks collapse me
I am a frog in the water
Underneath a lily (sometimes the flower)

Words are hung and frame us-
we keep quiet, well trained.
Balancing the Universe between folded arms
Armed to the teeth, energetically speaking

Touch me
Touch us
Smile for everyone
Let me touch your boyfriend

I am The World
Bad bitches, all four corners lit up
No focus
Begging for a second look

Hide and seek

Hum and sing
Swim or sink
Smile for everyone
Barter praise for friendship

I am The Chariot,
A damn good driver
Stronger than myself
without a puzzle to undo

And you, Fool, are the luckiest of all
To know nothing of burning bushes or a Mothers' worry
Living in this moment's glorious blank stare
Naked as the day is long and infinity times as beautiful

Trust yourself
Trust nature and animals
Try to remember
Everyone else will forget

Ride or die shit

(We are The Lovers.)

21 June 2010


never fully fell asleep last night. almost got there a few times...but yeah, no. my stomach was bothering me, i had a little bit of a dehydration headache, maybe...unfortunately, not sleeping for those 6 hours left quite a span of time for any and all thoughts which had been bubbling around in this crazy brain to pull their disappearing/re-appearing ink tricks on me. hey, this is weird...no, no it's not...well...no, no, no...you know the drill. back and forth, self-doubt and then self-soothing. oh, shit, i fucked up! no, you didn't, silly girl, you're just fine...

i gave up around 7 and came out to the living room to smoke a bowl. i watched the end of Up and now i'm watching Mrs. Doubtfire. when i was 10, my sister and i were on a flight from Philly back home to L.A., and we sat next to the kid who plays the son in this movie, Matthew Lawrence. yes, that's right, Joey Lawrence' little brother. their whole family was on the flight. i must have gotten up to go to the bathroom 10 times, so that i could scoot past Matthew and flirt. oh, dude, i was totally over Joey from Blossom, fuck thaT. i was into the brother...anyways, after we landed, the older gentleman who'd been sitting across the aisle told my mom and stepfather that he thought i had bladder problems. i went outside and The Lawrence Family was out there, too, waiting for their car. i noticed that Matthew was holding the leash on a golden retriever: their pup had traveled with them, under the plane in one of those crates for 5 hours. i mean, i've always had a way with animals...i love them, they love me, it rules...so this dog takes one look at me and starts pulling towards me, and the kid looks up and smiles when he sees another kid standing there, albeit a girl wearing a matching sailor-inspired outfit, and starts walking over. i remember that being a 'holy shit' moment, like the ones we grown women have now when the man we want shows interest...i was 10. he said hi and introduced himself and his the dog (can't remember his name, sad face), and after i pet him for a bit, both of our families were ready to peace. i don't know if he was in any other big movies besides Mrs. Doubtfire. i bet his creepy brother ruined his career for him when he tried to put out a record.

yesterday, i participated in a slip 'n slide competition at a lakehouse with a bunch of people i don't know and was in fact the weakest link of my team due to my attire: jean shorts do not slide well, nor are they slippery. i was ill-prepared for such activity, and completely out of my element, yet i could not say no. i wasn't going to back down from a challenge, even a totally ridiculous one. this is definitely new. gone are the days of my graceful bowing out; the Yadira of today says yes. she may be scared but that's no reason not to try. i'm less and less afraid of failure and more focused on the learning part...people are a distraction. being sensitive to them is a distraction but a necessary one. i think i'm ok with that. today i am, anyway.

so i'm pushing this 20" bike, until my legs give out. and i'm pushing this huge heart to the limit, finding there isn't one that i can't overcome. try and stop me.

01 June 2010

The A EP says hi

holy fuck. i wore a fucking sequinned bustier. who the hell am i all of the sudden?

L.A.X's album release party at The Parish on May 20th KILLED. so many amazing friends, musicians, photographers and generally sexy people were in attendance. Frank brought food for the bands and $10 gift certificates to all our guests. Props to Holly for letting me borrow those heels, although i thought my ankles were gonna snap after dancing in them throughout our entire set.

from what i hear, everyone had a really good time and got ultra fucked up that night, makin' mama proud! i never get a chance to hang out at our shows, because a) i like to smoke a lot of weed before i sing, b) i like to smoke even more after i sing, and c) by the end our set i'm usually pouring sweat and need somebody to 'wipe me down'.

since then, the Universe has gone all fuzzy. we played Houston on May 29th - so much fun - and we'll go to Dallas on the 5th of June. but now what? what's gonna fill my heart up with love? this is becoming an addiction. if i can't have my medicine, chances are i'll go looking for a substitute fix.

AND it's summer. dios mio.

more photos from the CD Release Party can be found here: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/album.php?aid=50313&id=1650485679

09 May 2010


my mother is a force. light oozes from her being. the energy of a place changes when she's close by, re-aligning and finding better flow. she doesn't suck all the air out of the room; she breathes life into every corner and crevice of it.

i am so unbelievably lucky to be one of her daughters.

if you have one person who can see your soul, who can speak to the core of who you are, who will accept you no matter how far you fall...you are rich beyond words. you have found a soul mate.